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 | princess elva |
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Call you? You call me! 2010.04.26 01:38:06 |
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I’m waiting for an SMS (or phonecall) from someone.
And I hate that.
You see, I met this guy while out partying last weekend. We exchanged numbers, he asked me out for lunch the next day, we spent a good half of Sunday together chilling out in front of the TV and when we parted ways (I had to go to meet my family for dinner), he said he’d like to see me again.
Experience tells me he’ll call on Tuesday. But, despite knowing just how this whole game is played, I don’t like how it still unnerves me and, how I keep looking at my phone wondering if a message could have slipped in without me noticing.
And although I would very much like to see this guy again, I am not going to put myself out of my misery by messaging him. You probably think it’s the same, right? What’s the difference between (1) me waiting for him to message me first and (2) messaging him and waiting for his reply?
Yes, those of you who follow this blog (and maybe my Editor’s Note in CLEO) faithfully will know I have a few quirks when it comes to dealing with men.
One, I don’t make the first call nor do I send the first SMS. I just don’t.
I don’t see why I should give him the joy of knowing that I’ve been obsessing over when he’ll be getting in touch. I refuse to be caught in a situation where my messages to him go unanswered. I know, I know … me and my silly pride.
Two, I don’t ask anyone out. Ever.
Again, this boils down to not wanting to find myself in a compromising position – where I’m the one waiting to be accepted or rejected. A lot of friends have said I’m neurotic with a capital “NEUROTIC”. The guys would tell me, “Girl, you’re crazy. Why would a guy say no to going out with you?”. The girls would say, “If he doesn’t want to go out with you, he probably has a good reason, so you shouldn’t take it personally.” Of course I’m going to take it all personally. Think about all the times you said no to going out with someone. When is “I am in love with the idea of working OT more than I am with the idea of going out with you” ever a good reason to use? So if I ask a guy out and he says no, it definitely must be that there’s something he doesn’t quite like about me! Yes? No?
Three, if the guy says, “Call me”, my answer is, “Well, you can call me”. Always.
A lot of relationship articles have advised women to be the one to say, “I’ll call you,” at the end a date. These articles say doing that puts the ball in your court and the guy ends up being the one waiting for your call. I disagree. But I hope you understand that I’m disagreeing only for myself. I’m not saying that this is wrong. I just don’t do it.
While it’s true women are expected to be progressive, independent, take-charge, etc., I still believe that there are certain ways “The Game” should be played. Being the one bulldozing your way into a someone’s heart isn’t in my books at all.
To see if a guy’s into you, all it takes is for him to make that one phonecall. If he doesn’t call (and in this age of the Internet, he can also email, Facebook or Twitter you), he is not interested enough. If a man’s not interested enough, then of course you move on. The phonecall is just an excuse for him to stay in touch. The content of the conversation is not important here. What’s important here is the intent.
I don’t call my insurance agent to talk about the weather. I don’t call my tailor to discuss local politics. I don’t even call my trainer to talk about how the stock market is doing.
If I, a woman, don’t make random phonecalls, what more a guy? Men do not like using the phone for calling and for messaging. In fact, unless his job depended on him making phonecalls to the entire population of Singapore, a guy hardly calls. So when he calls, you know something’s up.
Why rob yourself of this one useful indicator of interest by saying, “I’ll call you”?
So while these rules may mean my “hit rate” remains low, I think it’s safe to conclude that I’d not be wasting too much of my time wondering if so-and-so is interested in me or not.
I’ll wait for that call to happen. But there is a deadline to that waiting and I can say it’s not very long.
Will keep you all updated. |
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