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2011.07.20 17:52:40

I hate to say this, but with the increasing number of foreigners coming to live and work in Singapore, sometimes it really seem easier to date an expat than a Singaporean. And seems like most people agree with me! Take a look at this survey conducted by the Association of Dating Agencies and Matchmakers (Singapore): As many as seven in ten Singaporeans are open to dating a foreigner. This figure is a 20% increase compared to last year, and I believe it’s largely due to the increase number of expats, too.

 

Unfortunately, I fall into the remaining three out of ten as I don’t think I will ever date an expat.

 

Simply because:

 

Reason #1: I will not be their priority

Think about it – expats gave up their family, friends, pets (if any) and in short, their life in an environment they are so familiar with to live in another country just so to build their career. Their priority would be to establish their career. This is why I suspect a serious relationship is hardly on the back of their mind. Sadly, this means that even if you were to be dating an expat, you would probably take a backseat when it comes to his job. That would probably translate to lesser time spent together. And, which girl wouldn’t want more time with their man? But of course, please do understand that I’m making a very general assumption.

 

Reason #2: There’s a lack of security

Similarly, they have left behind their life when they chose to work in another country. Here in Singapore, probably no one knew who they were before. It’s so easy to assume a whole new identity by leaving your past behind entirely. For me, I would not feel secure when I don’t know what his past was really like, the kind of place he lived in and how his friends are like. The sense of connection isn’t as strong as compared to dating a Singaporean man since I grew up in pretty much similar environment. Also, coupled with the fact that this isn’t his home and it’s probably only a transition phase for him. Would he be willing to stay here for good to build a relationship with you? This is probably a major issue that will surface at one point of your relationship. I’m not saying that he won’t, Matthew, one of the expat we interviewed, got a PR just to marry the girl of his dreams! As Matthew’s relationship with his wife demonstrates, the good thing about dating an expat would be the wealth of endless topic that you two would exchange, considering that he probably came from a country with a very different culture compared to Singapore. His story was one of the most heartwarming love story I know. (Flip to page 102 of the August issue of CLEO now to know about the great things he has to say about Singaporean women!)

 

           

Having said that, at the end of the day, I do believe strongly that being in a relationship has nothing to do with the race, age or the country he came from. It’s about how well you can connect with him and how much you enjoy his company. You know your man’s a keeper if you’re still very much in love with him even when you’ve already known him inside out. Dating an expat would definitely have its own unique sets of challenges, but so does every other relationship. But surely it can all be worked out if he’s really your Mr Right.

 
   

   

 

quest
2011.07.28 06:28:15

I think that the article and the blog does not serve to give insight into the issue but instead only serves to reinforce stereotypes and confuse the general reader. Similarly, in the magazine, the quotes from expats are set in a vacuum without context, e.g. how many years have they been in Singapore, how many Singaporean friends they have. This indicates for us better the kind of attitude they have. That is why some of them can state superficial statements because they only look at girls dancing in clubs and not actually talk to them or at least talk to them beyond work issues. Females in Singapore also do not really believe in meeting guys in clubs because it's dark and noisy and you're drunk. A rational person would infer that this environment is unlikely a place for these expats to meet girls. On the other hand, I can understand; where else can these expats go? Furthermore, it is perhaps more of (British and Australian cultures in particular) their cultures that drive more of them to search out relationships in pubs and clubs. Many girls go clubbing and pubbing to chill out, not to look for a one-night stand. So we're not really in the mood to chat with guys. Certainly we go wild cos' we want to and not because we're watching guys watching us. We're having way too much fun for that. As for materialistic girls, the poor man has been meeting up with the wrong type of girls! Most of those I know are not materialistic at all. That's because they're really quite sensible and know that money is not going to get them happiness. But neither is sex and one-night stands, so those looking for an easy lay should turn to Orchard Towers. Your article if really interested in engaging a meaningful article and generating genuine discussion should seek to illuminate readers on such topics. And why only white dudes? I used to do dragon boat activities with a foreign group cos' the timing of their trainings fit mine. Who knows what reasons others have? My husband who is foreign and is my dive instructor. I meet interesting people (local and foreign) cos' of the activities I am interested in, so what's the big deal? The skin colour means less than the maturity and attitudes of the 2 parties than any of the factors mentioned thus far. Humans are interesting and fun. For me, I've many friends who are Malays and Indians and Chinese and they're all great fun and highly intelligent and fascinating people. So let's stop perpetuating the idea that we're only and solely the result of our environment as if we're amoeba floating in a dish and that we can't make up our own minds about how individuals and people behave and how we behave in our human interactions and behaviour.